Wordless Wednesday

Loving my Sisters Style!

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Giving is better than receiving...

So Christmas is over, and we've all created list of what we wanted for Christmas.  What was the best gift you gave?  Who's heart did you fill with joy?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Secrets of a happy Couple

Today we want to motivate you to be a happy couple with some tips on how to trust, communicate, honor, confidence, generosity, forgiveness, and gratitude, enjoy!!!!!!!

7 Secrets of Happy Couples
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?

Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:

1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, you will have been happy.

2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.

3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.

4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.

5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.

6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.

7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.

Wordless Wednesday (Real Husbands Of Chicago- RHOC)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: What does hubby want?

So last Tuesday I asked what you wanted for Christmas, and we got it all, to loose weight, peace on earth, hat sets, etc. now tell me what has hubby been hinting about?  What does he want for Christmas?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY:

All though some of the Motivational monday quotes, articles, and poems are directed towards individuals they still apply to our marriages.  It takes 2 individuals efforts to make this marriage union work so lets all work on ourselves in order to make our marriages a success...  Here's a poem to motivate you.

The River of Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The River of Life flows without emotion.
The River surges. The River quiets.
The River overflows its banks. The River dries to a trickle.
The River swirls and storms. The River becomes calm.
The River runs clear. The River runs dark with silt.
The River is indifferent to what benefit or what harm is caused by its water.
The River is the River, and that is all there is to it.

The River of Life has no judgments.
The River flows with no concept of good and bad – right and wrong.
The fields and dreams of men may be nourished by the River of Life, or flooded and covered with silt, and the River just flows.
Men may catch fish and live on the River of Life, or they may founder in a storm and drown, and the River just flows.

The River of Life is timeless.
It is not unchanging, but it is timeless, and it changes in its own time.

The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock – in its own time.

The River of Life is not powerful – and it is not weak.
The River of Life is not gentle – and it is not strong or rough.
The River of Life is not deep or shallow.
The River of Life is not nourishing or punishing.
The River of Life is simply the River of Life.
The River of Life just IS. There is no more to it.

The River of Life has no meaning, no good, no bad, no better, no worse, no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.

There is nothing to do.
There is nothing to say.
There is nothing to think.
There is nothing to feel.
The River just flows.

The River is the source of all nourishment - the source of all obstacles.
The River is the source of all life – the source of all death.
The River is the source of all joy – and the source of all sorrow.
Yet the River has no joy – and the River has no sorrow.
The River is just the River.

One can flow harmoniously with the River – or one can struggle fearfully against the River - and the River just flows.
One can accept the River – or one can deny the River – and the River just flows.
One can worship the River of Life – or one can curse the River of Life – and the River just flows.

There is nothing to do – and the River flows.
There is nothing to say – and the River flows.
There is nothing to think – and the River flows.
There is nothing to feel – and the River flows.
The River flows – and all else is our drama.
The River flows – and all else is our invention.

I choose to flow with the River of Life.

Wordless Wednesday (The Power of Sisterhood)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Christmas Gifts

I've asked several of my friends what they would like for Christmas, and it ranges from money to electronics, to shoes to peace to miracles! 

What would you like for Christmas?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Motivating you...

I found this article and wanted to share it with you all...

When you get motivated, you can accomplish almost anything. You can get motivated to lose weight, get motivated to exercise, get motivated to study, get motivated to write a book, or motivate yourself to do almost anything else that is truly important to you, like your marriage. Here are some ways to get motivated...

Understand Your Life Purpose
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland
Until one has a clear idea of one's life purpose, there is no way to know whether a task is important or not. Is today's physics homework important? Is going to the gym today important? Those questions can only be answered within the context of one's life purpose. A task may appear urgent, but being "urgent," in the sense of another person having stated a deadline, does not make a task truly important in the sense of furthering your life purpose.
If a task isn't really important to you, you probably can't motivate yourself to work on it consistently and energetically. It is best if the task itself, as well as the project of which the task is a part, is inherently important to you. An example of such a task would be parenting your child. Each day you spend with your child is important to you, and it is important to you that your child grow up to be a responsible and happy adult.
Often however, the day-to-day activities (tasks) of your project don't seem rewarding, and only the final result (project completion) drives you. For example, you want to lose fifteen pounds, or to become a published author. In these cases, it is crucial to find a means of visualizing the desired end-result on a daily basis, and using that image of the desired result for daily motivation.

Choose Your Priorities
It is our choices ... that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
At every instant of every day, you are making a choice of how you spend your time. You have a very limited amount of time, so time is a highly valuable currency. You certainly can't do everything that you consider doing or that others ask you to do. You establish your real priorities in life by your choices of how you allocate your time. Whenever you spend time on some mindless activity or allocate time to meeting someone else's demands (that don't further your own life purpose) you have chosen your priorities -- but have you chosen well?
Don't confuse leisure time recreation with mindless activities. Activities such as resting, reading, or going to the beach or a picnic or a party create balance in your life and further your life purpose by relieving stress, relaxing you, making you happier, and strengthening your connection with family and friends. However mindlessly surfing the television or web, checking your email every few minutes, or extended sessions of video gaming are priority choices that are unlikely to further your life purpose.
Choose to undertake only projects that are compatible with your life purpose, and choose to allocate a majority of your time to tasks that further those projects.

Visualize Success
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
At the beginning of each project, visualize what success will look like. If your project is to lose weight, visualize your new shape. If your project is writing a book, visualize your title listed as number one on the best-seller list. Make it a practice to recall this image of success every day. You may find it helpful to create a drawing or photograph or collage as a tangible representation of the success you are working toward. A collage is made by gluing magazine clippings, drawings, photographs and other objects to a piece of paper to form an artistic representation of a complex idea. A collage to represent graduating from college might contain photographs or drawings of someone in a cap-and-gown, a diploma, a job offer letter, a large salary check -- whatever you associate with your goal. A collage can be a powerful aid in creating an emotional connection with the goals of your project and in keeping you motivated.

Write It Down
Projects that exist only in your mind are unlikely ever to be completed.
Begin by writing down your life purpose. While there are likely several distinct aspects to your life purpose, an overly complex or disjointed statement of life purpose is more confusing than helpful.
For each main thread of your life purpose, write down the projects that support the intent of that thread.
For each project, write a timeframe, milestones, and the tasks that comprise that project.
As an example, one thread of your life purpose might be physical health. A project within that thread might be reducing your weight. Timeframe and milestones could be to lose five pounds each month for three months. The tasks might be to go to the gym Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and to record the calories you consume each day in a diary.

Begin - Never Quit
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, Begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it, Begin it now.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Half of finishing a project is beginning -- and most of the rest is never quitting. Very little in life is complex. Begin and keep going. If necessary, begin again each day. Know that you can only fail if you quit.

Celebrate Your Victories
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
Whenever you complete a task, celebrate. Whenever you complete a project, have a huge celebration. Even if you haven't met your goals, celebrate. If you set a goal to lose five pounds in a month and you lose three, celebrate. Even if you gained a pound instead of losing, celebrate that you got to the gym twelve times. Always celebrate what you have learned -- celebrate learning what doesn't work as well as what does work.

Use Your Support Network
A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous
If you have friends and family who support your life purpose, include them in your projects. Tell them what you are doing, and why. Let them be keepers of your timeframes and milestones. Include them in your celebrations -- and your painful life-lessons.
If you don't yet have a supportive network of friends and family, get one. Make the project of creating a support network your highest-priority project. Join organizations that are compatible with your life purpose and seek support. Volunteer for causes that are compatible with your life purpose and seek support. Also, make the conscious decision to spend less time with people who don't support your goals and life purpose.

Build Your Self-Confidence
Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right.
- Henry Ford
Today, and every day, affirm again your own value as a human being. Affirm the value of your life purpose and your chosen projects. Affirm your commitment to seeing your chosen projects through to completion. Utilize your support network to build your self-confidence. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your values.

Wordless Wednesday (Sisterhood Making a difference)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Holiday Parties Spouse or no Spouse

It's holiday time, and there are lots of holiday parties to attend.  Personally, I love to have my husband on my side, because I feel that making date nights happen during the holidays are a little difficult so I use the holiday party as an opportunity to spend a little time with hubby, but then there are those who like to leave their spouse at home.  What do you think?  Do you spread the holiday cheer with your spouse or leave them at home?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Care

This past weekend member of the RWOC sisterhood donated our time and muscles to pack 82 boxes of chicken, vegetables, soy bean, and rice to send to one of the 70 countries the wonderful  Feed my Starving Children is affiliated with.  From this 82 boxes we packed there are 17,712 meals which will feed 49 children for 1 year!  After praying over the boxes and leaving the site, I left so full with the presence of God, and so full with the spirit that I made a difference.  I not only wished that I could have shared this experience with my family.  I from that point on made the commitment to volunteer and donate more. 

This Motivation Monday I motivate you to care.  Not only to care about your husband and your kids, but to also care about the starving 18,000 children that die every year.  I motivate you to care about them, and donate your time, may it be volunteering, or donating money, but please care...

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: SUPPORT

The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man...

We were made to be mans confidant, his partner, his helper, his supporter, etc.   How do you support your man when he doesn't support you?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Acceptance

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility.  -Leo Tolstoy

We motivate you to accept the imperfections, and annoyances, accept them and continue to love...

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Holiday Traditions

We all have had them in our lives at some point, may they be; 

• Putting christmas decorations up the day after Christmas
• Opening one gift at midnight on Christmas Eve
• Having dad carve the turkey, etc.

What are your family's Holiday Traditions?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Smile at the thought of your husband...

This Motivational Monday we would like to motivate you to forget about having to go to work this morning, forget about the task you have to do this week, forget about the holiday presents you have to gather, forget about decorations and plans.  We just want you to do something very simple, look at your husband, call him or text him, remember that you love him and smile....

Since the day we first met,
I knew it was love,
God answered my prayers,
you came down from above...

You gave me your heart,
and taught me to trust,
for the first time ever,
it was more than just lust.

Your sweet loving words,
are not to be compared,
I am forever your partner,
my soul I have bared...

Every day I wake up, with a smile a mile long, I know that we are solid, I know that we are strong.

So never put into question,
my feelings being true,
because I have found my one and only,
And I will always love you.

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: FIL & Husband Blues

SCENERIO:  Times are hard now a days, and ends just are not meeting.  Husband tells his wife to ask her Father for a loan.  Wife refuses to do it, because she knows that her father doesn't like her husband 100% for unknown reasons, and she doesn't want to add any fuel to the fire, by making her father feel like her husband isn't a  good provider.  She tells husband that we will find a way with Gods help.  Husband says ok, but he doesn't understand why his FIL doesn't like him, afterall he's been with his daughter for over a decade and has only asked for help once, and that was for their wedding, and shouldn't he want to help if his daughter, and grandkids are in need?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: The Power of Affection

This Motivational Monday I would like to motivate you all to touch your spouse.  Show them that you're there for them.  Give them an extra tighter hug today.  Take a walk and hold hands.  Reach across the dinner table for that spare hand, and let the power of affection take its course...

 

 

The Power of Affection

by Jim Burns 

The basic need of all people is to love and be loved. So one of the basic ingredients for a marriage to thrive is affection.

If you are in a marriage with very little affection, whether it's sexual or nonsexual variety, you most likely are in a disconnected phase of your relationship.

Some studies report that it takes eight to ten meaningful touches a day for a person to thrive.

If you are not naturally affectionate, don't fake being overly mushy, but work on it. If your family background or ethnicity didn't offer much affection to you when you were growing up, then you'll need to make an extra effort, but don't hold back or use it as an excuse for a lack of connection in your marriage.

Couples who hold hands, kiss passionately, and bring gifts like flowers and chocolate to one another are couples who have a much better chance for a healthy relationship.

Paul's advice to the Roman church was "Outdo one another in showing honor" (Romans 12:10 RSV). You may not feel like showering your spouse with affection. But no matter how you feel, choose to intentionally focus on bringing affection to your relationship.

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Trust & Love?

SCENARIO:  Your friend has been married for 6 years of a 16 year relationship from day one she's had trust issues and infidelity issues, and to this day she still has issues.  She has found new infidelities and y just has had enough and is ready to leave.  She loves her husband, and wants to be with him but just can't handle not have trust in the relationship anymore.  As her friend what advice can you give her.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: I'm blessed

Motivating you all to be thankful for the good days.  You are very blessed!

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Compromising vs. Confrontation

Marriage is a unity.  Two individual lives, being shared, and becoming one. So as individuals we have interest and dreams that we aspire towards.  How do you convince your spouse to do something that you really want to do, that you feel you have to do, but they just don't want to do it?  For example:  You are a quiet, small town type of person and you really don't like the city, you've tried to make it work, but you just want to move.  Not only cause of your anxieties over city life, but you also feel that the schools will be better if you moved, taxes will be lower if you move, etc., but your spouse still isn't budging.  How do you deal?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

This Motivational Monday God surly interceded and brought something to my eyes. Checking my emails I came across this article that said, "Why Faith Can Help Marriage Work."  Now I am a work in progress, and I admit, that I believe in God, but sometimes I have a problem with letting God.  My faith is  under construction, so this title really hit something in me.  It listed tools that you should have to help your marriage:  Humility, Forgiveness, God's Sovereignty, and Financial Provision.  At the end it challenges you to  pick one of the tools and let it become your attitude your mindsets, and implement them in your marriage. Maybe you will come together in prayer about a stressful situation, maybe you will stop looking to each other to change and start looking to yourself, or maybe you will offer forgiveness for a hurt that occurred many years ago.

Whatever it is, turn to God first and each other second. Let Him be the foundation of your marriage so that when things get good, you can say, “God did this!” Because that’s the point of it all anyway, isn’t it?

Are you up for the Challenge?  RWOC knows you can do it!!!!!

Read article in its entirety here.

Wordless Wednesday (Enjoy the fall w/ your Spouse)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: My marriage is better than yours!

Have you ever had someone compare their marriage to yours and make you feel like she does things so much better than you do?  Like because she doesn't face the problems that you have you're irrelevant? or because she's been there done that you're overreacting?  How do you deal with this kind of woman?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Don't Quit

Don't Quit

by Anonymous

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and its turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When they might have won, had they stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than, It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Getting in Shape?

There are so many people out there that want to get in shape.  So many different gyms to join, diets to try, and equipment to use, but how do you really put your all into a diet, or excerise routine when your partner doesn't have the motivation to eat right and work out like you do? 

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Marriage Prayer

Lord, I pray that you would protect my marriage from anything that would harm or destroy it.  Shield it from our own selfishness and neglect, from the evil plans and desires of others, and from unhealthy or dangerous situations.  May there be no thoughts of divorce or infidelity in our hearts, and none in our future.  Set us free from past hurts, memories, and ties from previous relationships and unrealistic expectations of one another.  I pray that there be no jealousy in either of us, or the low self-esteem that precedes that.  Let nothing come into our hearts and habits that would threaten the marriage in any way, especially influences like alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, lust, or obsessions. 

Unite us in a bond of friendship, commitment, generosity, and understanding.  Eliminate our immaturity, hostility, or feelings of in adequacy.  Help us to make time for one another, alone, to nurture and renew the marriage and remind ourselves of the reasons we were married in the first place.  I pray that my husband will be so committed to you, Lord, that his commitment to me will not waiver, no mater what storms come.  I pray that our love for each other will grow stronger every day, so that we will never leave a legacy of divorce to our children. 

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Balancing Marriage, Self, & Motherhood

Walking on a running path I noticed that there are more men jogging and pushing their children in strollers, and this made me smile. It also made me wonder are these men dealing with the same confusion, fatigue, pride, and errands that I'm dealing with. How are they balancing everything? How do you balance?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Footprints



One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.

Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.

Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,

other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when I was suffering from

anguish, sorrow or defeat,

I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,

"You promised me Lord,

that if I followed you,

you would walk with me always.

But I have noticed that during

the most trying periods of my life

there have only been one

set of footprints in the sand.

Why, when I needed you most,

you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

is when I carried you."

Wordless Wednesday (Beauty of RWOC)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Do I want to remarry you?

I'm not sure if the U.S. is thinking about doing this, but I thought I would share it with you all anyway.  In its effort to decrease the 50% divorce rate in Mexico they are proposing that after 2 years of marriage you have to renew your vows.  You decide if you want to or not.  Do you think this is going to be affective?  Do you think its ok for someone to try marriage and then opt out?  Does it devalue the sanctity of marriage?

Article link

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Prayer

There is so much going on these days, attacks on marriages, death, financial burdens, sickness, etc.  These things are not only attacking our RWOC Sisters, but there attacking those that we love and care for around us.  At this time I would like to motivate you all to not only pray for RWOC, pray for your loved ones, pray for your enemies, and pray for yourselves for God does not give us more than we can handle.  Look to God for strength...

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Arguments and Making up

After speaking with some of my friends, family & sistas we all agree that it takes us, as women a little bit longer to calm down after an argument.  Why do men think we can just shut down like that and get happy?  Me personally I need a few hours, sometimes a few days.  How do you get over and argument and get to making up?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

When you're feeling overwhelmed, and you can't figure out the difference between your husband and your kids, its time to bring in your girls, yours Sisters, and have a Ladies Night!  We motivate you to value your sisterhoods, and love yourself, cause if you don't do it, how are you going to love somebody else?

Wordless Wednesday

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Date Nights

Date Nights are a must in a healthy, positive marriage, but after so many date nights sometimes you have to become creative.  What do you do for date nights?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Be a Servant for Love...

If he has a need,
if she has a need and you can fulfill it.
Do it.
Don't even ask why.
That's why you are married to each other.
To serve each other.

Let go of the anger
Let go of the what ifs
Why spend valuable time being upset
Serve the one you'll spend the rest of your life with

Wordless Wednesday (Beauty of RWOC)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Mistress Friends & Marriage

Unfortunately there are women out there who totally disrespect marriages.  What if one of those women were you best friend.  How do you handle a friend who is a mistress?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

When you get motivated, you can accomplish almost anything. You can get motivated to lose weight, get motivated to exercise, get motivated to study, get motivated to write a book, or get motivated to do anything possible to make sure your marriage is successful.

Understand Your Life Purpose

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Wordless Wednesday (Sisterhood)

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Marriage & Facebook

The Scenario

After being in a marriage for a while, its so much harder to keep those flames burning, so you've been trying to come up with ways to keep the flames in your relationship.  You've been planning sexy date nights, sending sexy text, trying to have intimate conversations, seeking compliments, etc.  One day your spouse keeps the computer screen open, and is logged on to fb.  You read it cause its in your face.  You realize that some of the same things that you've been trying to get your spouse to do with you, he's been doing for someone else via facebook.  How do you deal with this?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: You get what you put in...

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
– Barnett R. Brickner

I love this quote, cause it basically tells me that you get what you put into your marriage.  If you act like you don't need anyone, if you were raised to not depend on anyone and you bring  that to your marriage, then most likely that wall, that independence will grow in your marriage, and you will not get the full affect of becoming one with your spouse.  Think about the choices you make, if after thinking you realize that there are negative things that you have brought into your marriage we motivate you to put in the positive.  Make a change...

Wordless Wednesday