HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: I know I can't change you but...

Usually that one thing that attracted us to our mates, is the same thing we end up not being able to stand.  If there is one thing you could change about your mate what would it be?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Kids are our future..

It saddens me to see a child reenact the negative actions of their parents.  As a parent when the school year starts I think one worry that I'll always have is how will other kids influences affect my child?  Will he get alone with the other kids?  Will he know right from wrong and act on the right?  Are his friends parents a big part of the children's lives?

This Motivational Monday I would like to motivate all parents to look towards your kids for motivation.  Their the one thing that you as a couple have to be on the same page about.  Teach your kids, love your kids, prepare them so that they can make our futures better.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Get away...

It's summer time, and with Summer comes vacation!!!  In a marriage, these vacations or get aways are a must!  Sometimes you just have to re-energize your marriage and GET AWAY!  This motivational Monday we would like to motivate you to get your plans together, cross your t's and dot your i's and make plans with hubby to get away...

A happy husband+A happy wife = A happy Life

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Plug into your Marriage

This Motivational Monday, I would like to motivate you to...

Unplug So You Can Plug Into Your Marriage

by Aaron Anderson in Communication

In the information age it seems there’s no end to devices to help us stay connected. There are all sorts of mp3 players, tablets, laptops, desktops, gaming consoles and other devices that help keep us informed of the latest and greatest in the world and they’re all becoming increasingly more available and more portable.

These devices are great and even help you keep in touch with people who are important to you such as friends, relatives and even your spouse and children. But too often, these devices can actually hinder your relationship with those who are important to you. Below are some tips to help you unplug so you can plug into your most important relationship: your marriage.

Decompress with your spouse . . .

. . . instead of with your device. Oftentimes, people use being plugged in is a way to decompress after a long or challenging day. There’s something relieving about logging in and looking up friends, listening to music or checking out your favorite blogs. But this is a great time to connect with your spouse instead of connecting with your device.
Marriages become strengthened when spouses hear each others’ difficulties (like after having a challenging day) and are able to hear and console each other. This shows each other care and affection and creates love and connection between each other.

So next time you want to put your feet up after a challenging day go sit down by your spouse to put your feet up and tell them all about what made your day so challenging. Spouses are usually a lot more consoling than a screen anyway.

Instead of texting, try calling

Sending texts to your spouse throughout the day is great. It shows your spouse that you’re thinking about them and that you want to keep them included in your day even if they’re not around. But there’s something extra special about calling your spouse instead of sending a text.

Think of it like way back when you were dating and you used to call each other just to say hi and talk. You may not have had a whole lot to talk about (if there were text messages back then, a simple text would have done) but somehow you were always able to make a conversation out of it, anyway.

Even if a simple text message will do, give your spouse a call during their lunch break and see where it goes. You might be surprised how much you’re able to talk about (and how long you’re able to talk about it).

Instead of going online, go out

The simple act of getting out requires that you get out of your home and away from your devices (at least most of them). You don’t have to go anywhere fancy, expensive, or anywhere that costs at all for that matter, but the simple act of getting out means you have to communicate with your spouse in order to make plans, find a sitter, etc.
Even if all you do is go out for a picnic dinner or go to a scenic view and talk this is all time that is wholly devoted to your spouse and is not interrupted by websites, updates, etc. Remember spending money is not the object of going out, the act of spending unadulterated time with your spouse is.

Fundamentally, being plugged in is a solitary exercise. You only need yourself to be able to do it. This means that when you’re plugged in you’re not wholly plugged in with your spouse…even if you are in the same room. There’s something extra that happens in a marriage when a couple sits down and engages with each other during a game of cards or eating ice cream at the dinner table after the kids have gone to bed.
Being plugged in often makes you unavailable and you miss the moments that are occurring around you. Think of it. At the end of the day, you’ll still be able to log in and find out what news headlines or status updates you missed, but you’ll never be able to go back to a moment that you missed with your spouse.

Wordless Wednesday

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: What God has brought together...

This weekend I attended one of our RWOC's Sisters wedding ceremony, and it reminded me of Gods words, What God has brought together let no man put asunder...

It motivated me, it reminded me that God made this union, and our union is strong, its correct, its no mistake.  I'm going to shout my love to my husband, my appreciation for him, my disappointments to him, my highs, and my lows to him, my admiration to him.   I'm going to communicate to him, and I'm going to always give him something that only HE can feel.  Therefor, what God have joined together let no man, no thing, no one put asunder!

Congratulations Sista Ashanda!!!!!!!!!!

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Same Page...

Do you think its realistic to believe that husband and wife should be on the same page at all times?

MOTIVATONAL MONDAY: Step by Step

This song says it all.  Whatever problem you're having take it step by step...

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Love You...

As a wife, it's so easy to get caught up in daily activites of taking care of your husband, the kids, working, etc, and in the process not taking care of yourself.  Its alright to show everyone else love, but today we would like to motivate you to take care of yourself, love yourself, cause if you don't do that how you going to love someone else?  Even on the plans they tell you to put your mask on first before you put on your childs mask...

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Thats our song...

We all have certain songs that are the soundtrack of our lives, and this also goes for our relationships, and even our wedding date.  What is your song?

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Pet Peeves...

Unfortunately because marriage has such a negative stigma, we HAPPILY MARRIED women have developed pet peeves..  Mines is when people say, "yall still married?" ...I so dislike this, smh!!!!

We've also developed husband pet peeves, He comes home and throws his coat and clothes on one couch, and his gloves, hat, scarf, etc. on another couch.  His shoes in one place, his wallet in the kitchen, and so on, instead of putting them all in one place in his closet!!!!!!  ...I so dislike this!!!!!!


What are your negative stigma pet peeves, and husband pet peeves? 

Wordless Wednesday: Black History Month - Mr. & Mrs. Herbert & Zelmyra Fisher

Herbert Fisher married Zelmyra on May 13, 1924.  They are in the World Guinness Book of World Records as the oldest living African American couple.  Married for 84 years, Herbert, age 105, and Zelmyra, age 103, don’t seem to be fazed by their accomplishment.  Zelmyra says there are “No secrets.  There isn’t any secret. It was only God that kept us together.”

The two built their home on the belief and intention that the marriage would last forever. They now enjoy sitting on the porch as people pass by, watching television together and the company of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

The two have managed to keep their marriage strong because of a mutual love and respect that they have and show toward each other. And they say if they had it all to do over, they wouldn’t change a thing.

Just recently, they received a signed commendation from President Obama with a promise of an official invitation to the White House to meet him.

The Real Wives of Chicago will like to honor, Mr. & Mrs. Herbert & Zelmyra, Thank You for your Contribution of love, respect and togetherness!

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Marriage Motivators

Marriage has so many different levels of change, and transitions that you have to have some type of motivator to help you through it.  Whether its a physical or spiritual motivator, a person or  a hobby, what Motivates you in your marriage?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Secrets of a happy Couple

Today we want to motivate you to be a happy couple with some tips on how to trust, communicate, honor, confidence, generosity, forgiveness, and gratitude, enjoy!!!!!!!

7 Secrets of Happy Couples
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why do some couples stay happy together for a lifetime, while others are in conflict almost from the beginning?

Part of the answer is compatibility - making the initial choice of a partner with whom you share common values. Equally much, however, depends upon the choices each partner chooses to make during the relationship. Here are seven choices made by happy couples:

1. Trust: Suspicion and jealousy are the death knell of any relationship. If the other is going to cheat or otherwise dishonor the relationship, suspicion and jealousy will not prevent it, and such a relationship is fatally flawed in any case. Unwarranted suspicion and jealousy create misery in a surprising number of relationships. If you want to live happily, trust your partner completely. If they dishonor your trust, deal with the situation then. In the meanwhile, you will have been happy.

2. Open Communication: Tell the truth, tell the whole truth. If you didn't want to share your whole life with your partner, why are you together? If you make a mistake, admit it. If you have doubts, talk about them. Secrets and lies kill a relationship. With truth and openness anything is possible. Even if something is unforgivable, it is better to deal with it quickly.

3. Honoring the other's point-of-view: People disagree, couples disagree. Understanding that the two partners in a couple remain individuals is crucial to a happy relationship. Why would you expect that you and your partner should agree on everything? Honor that one of you is a Republican and the other a Democrat. Honor that one of you is a vegetarian and the other loves a great steak.

4. Self-Confidence: Co-dependence is another frequent cause of failed relationships. Happy couples know that they don't need each other. Each partner is a completely whole and valid individual who has entered into a voluntary partnership. Neither "owns" the other, nor "can't live without" the other. Each has their own interests and friends, as well as having mutual interests and friends.

5. Generosity: Greed and selfishness kill relationships. True love is generous in spirit. Mostly, generosity is not about material things, although that is also important. To have a happy relationship, be generous of your time, your love, and your attention.

6. Forgiveness: Resentments and thoughts of revenge and vengeance have no place in a happy relationship. Happy couples forgive each other completely for everything the other has ever done or failed to do - no exceptions.

7. Gratitude: Happy couples are continuously grateful for each other. Every day there are a myriad of reasons to be grateful for your partner. Find those reasons each day, and thank your partner every day.

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: FIL & Husband Blues

SCENERIO:  Times are hard now a days, and ends just are not meeting.  Husband tells his wife to ask her Father for a loan.  Wife refuses to do it, because she knows that her father doesn't like her husband 100% for unknown reasons, and she doesn't want to add any fuel to the fire, by making her father feel like her husband isn't a  good provider.  She tells husband that we will find a way with Gods help.  Husband says ok, but he doesn't understand why his FIL doesn't like him, afterall he's been with his daughter for over a decade and has only asked for help once, and that was for their wedding, and shouldn't he want to help if his daughter, and grandkids are in need?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: Don't Quit

Don't Quit

by Anonymous

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and the debts are high, And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit Rest if you must, but don't you quit. Life is queer with its twists and its turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about When they might have won, had they stuck it out. Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You may succeed with another blow. Often the goal is nearer than, It seems to a faint and faltering man, Often the struggler has given up When he might have captured the victor's cup; And he learned too late when the night came down, How close he was to the golden crown. Success is failure turned inside out The silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far; So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you must not quit!

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Balancing Marriage, Self, & Motherhood

Walking on a running path I noticed that there are more men jogging and pushing their children in strollers, and this made me smile. It also made me wonder are these men dealing with the same confusion, fatigue, pride, and errands that I'm dealing with. How are they balancing everything? How do you balance?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

When you're feeling overwhelmed, and you can't figure out the difference between your husband and your kids, its time to bring in your girls, yours Sisters, and have a Ladies Night!  We motivate you to value your sisterhoods, and love yourself, cause if you don't do it, how are you going to love somebody else?

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Marriage & Facebook

The Scenario

After being in a marriage for a while, its so much harder to keep those flames burning, so you've been trying to come up with ways to keep the flames in your relationship.  You've been planning sexy date nights, sending sexy text, trying to have intimate conversations, seeking compliments, etc.  One day your spouse keeps the computer screen open, and is logged on to fb.  You read it cause its in your face.  You realize that some of the same things that you've been trying to get your spouse to do with you, he's been doing for someone else via facebook.  How do you deal with this?

Wordless Wednesday