YES, YOU DO HAVE TO SAY "I'M SORRY"

.....and to be honest, I personally am stubborn and don't like to. However, we all know that in a marriage, there are going to be disagreements and arguments are going to occur. It is inevitable. As a result, sometimes we may say or do things to upset or hurt our spouse. These three simple words to express an apology to our partner can make all the difference in the world.

As obvious as this may be, sometimes we tend to forget that we are all are human beings and we make mistakes, especially in the middle of a heated argument. We are ready to defend our point of view and we want to get our points across; make our partner see where we are coming from. I know I have personally been guilty of this many times even when I was in the wrong.

Now I'm not saying every disagreement leads to someone being right, and someone being wrong. Sometimes we just agree to disagree, but taking the initiative to admit when you are wrong when the situation arises can go a long way. Saying "I'm Sorry" is so simple, but can change the dynamics in a situation, and even long term can contribute to a successful marriage. Even in more serious situations where just apologizing isn't going to cut it, it is a excellent start to mending problems. It is the first step in taking responsibility and being accountable for your own actions in order to move forward.

So, as I sit here and write this post, there are no profound words of wisdom, or deep thoughts to express; just recognition for everyone to remember to tell your spouse you are sorry when you are wrong. It is simple, yet for many, this is easier said than done.

I had to remind myself of this not too long ago because like I admitted....I don't like to, and that is mostly due to the fact that I believe most of the time I'm right. Its the stubborn side of me I know I need to work on, but I am working on it.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Stay tune for the upcoming free giveaway

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY

With the daily stress, work and kids, how do you keep the spark in your relationship?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

Many of those who have been deeply and truly in love with each other for years may realize one day that something has happened and things do not really work as they did. It is quite natural. People change with the time and their desires and expectations are no longer the same. First of all you must determine the cause of your falling apart. Is it routine or just another human being coming between the two of you?
In most cases, there is no need for an intruder to kill the harmony of a couple. Life is full of trying circumstances that may lower the temperature level of a household considerably.
- Keeping quiet and waiting for the storm to go away is not the best strategy one can adopt. Taking action is the winner's first step into victory. Keep a positive thinking and devise a plan to improve the situation.
- Get your partner into talking about what is going on. Show him or her how concerned you are by constantly proving your steady feelings for him or her. Be open and understandable and let your spouse open before you too. You must necessarily hear his/her side of the story before drawing any conclusions.
Once communication has been established again, you can start showing more affection and remind your partner of the good old days when everything was perfect. Many couples fall apart due to a lack of attention to the needs of the other. Any step towards the heart of your partner will certainly prepare a similar move to yours.

"YOU SAVED ME"

Last night, I had the pleasure of attending the one night only screening of "You Saved Me, " an inspiring documentary of real married couples brought to us by Ronnie and Lamar Tyler, the voices behind the blog, Black and Married With Kids.

It was amazing to see such positive images of marriages in the black community, and how even though we all go through our trials and struggles, having a successful marriage is something to definitely fight for. What personally stuck out to me and my husband was the concept of compromise. We all know that compromise is an important aspect in sustaining a marriage, but we all want that because we can give a little and still get a little of what we want. Sacrifice goes hand in hand with compromise, and in a marriage sacrifice is something we all have be willing to give as well. Powerful isn't it? This film definitely brought up a lot of real issues.

I would like to give a special thank you to all my Real Wives of Chicago sisters that attended the event along with their husbands, showing such overwhelming support for what our organization stands for. Real Wives of Chicago definitely showed up and showed out, representing not only what marriage is about, but sisterhood as well.

So in light of yesterday's screening, for those of you who attended, what were you thoughts on the film? For everyone in general, do you feel that your marriage has saved you in anyway? If so how?

For those who are interested in seeing this film, which we recommend you do, check out www.blackandmarriedwithkids.com to purchase the DVD. It is worth taking the time out to see :)

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY

Is "LOVE" enough to sustain a marriage or to get married?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

This past week have been a real challenge for some of the wives in our organization. So I wanted to provide some encouragement and motivation to all those who are going through.

Psalms 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—

where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

TO GIVE INTO MARRIAGE

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. "- Anthony Robbins





I believe both giving and receiving love in our marriage is an important part in sustaining it. However it is important to find that balance so neither spouse is giving too much and receiving too little, or vice versa. This is why the concept of compromise is so important.


It is also important to realize that as much as it is important to give, giving too much can be detrimental to a marriage as well. When you have both made a mutual commitment to each other, then you can be ALMOST totally giving. However, always keep a tiny percentage of yourself, just for you, a secret place that only you know about, a place to savor and retreat to, to protect and nurture. That inner essence of you will remain mysterious and alluring to your spouse -- and if anything ever happens between you and your spouse, that core part of who you are will sustain you.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."Genesis 2:24

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY

What scared you the most about getting married ?

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

The definition of motivation is anything that gives you incentive to move forward. This could come through self improvement and motivation. Most husbands and wives don't want to be pushed into anything. However, just words of encouragement could lead your spouse towards self motivation. An inspirational ideas, a compliment, or even words of spiritual encouragement can jump start a willingness to try.

WEDNESDAY CONTEST WINNER

*****ZANETA *****

Marital Bliss....Fact or Fiction?

The only thing perfect about marriage is the airbrushed wedding photo. ~ Anonymous

Marriage, even the best of marriages, takes effort and work. Point blank.

Many people enter marriage wearing rose-colored glasses. We long for the Hollywoodization of relationships. Where everything goes smoothly and passionately and all our disagreements are resolved before the credits roll. We think that once we marry the person whom we have fallen in love with, that life together is this "storybook idea" of everlasting love and marital bliss, and thats the first problem right there. The fact of the matter is, this is not realistic in no shape or form. I think movies and books that even try to promote this idea should come with a disclaimer much like those diet programs that state "Individual results may vary, results not typical".

Now with that being said, that doesn't mean that you won't have days where your husband will sweep you off your feet, say or do something that absolutely amazes you, makes you fall in love with him even more, or even make you want to marry him all over again. Marriage goes through its' ups along with its' downs, but love and romance is not going to be everyday. Some days you may realize you don't like your spouse; some days you may feel like giving up; some days he make urke you to the point where you want to scream. There will be days where both of you are just "there." Life will feel boring and stagnant. Marriage goes through many stages and emotions, which is why it takes so much effort and work to make it a success. However, deep down you have to ask yourself this: At the end of the day, is it all worth it? And what I mean by that is, is your spouse worth going through the storm with when everything seems to be going wrong? Because we all know it will. As you both hit the many roadblocks of this thing called life, is it worth it to fight through it together?

So sure, us as wives may get angry from time to time at our spouse for not helping out more with household chores, or wondering why there are dirty socks at the end of the bed instead of the hamper, or even why they can't keep a bathroom clean for more than 5 minutes, just remember those are things that are bound to happen. When two completely different people try and live one life together, there are going to be annoyances and times when you completely irritate one another. But those are the small things. When you enter a marriage, instead of dreaming of perfect eternal marital bliss, look at your partner as someone to fight the good fight with. The person that is going to be there next to you during those times when it rains and pours or when shit hits the roof. Once you are able to accept that fact, then you both can get to work :) A perfect marriage isn't realistic, but with some work and understanding, a happy, fulfilling one can be.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY CONTEST

Contest Rules:

* You must write a creative caption for this picture

* Must be 21 yrs or older to enter this contest

* Must be a blog member

* Contest ends on Friday July 9th. All entries must be submitted before this date.

*** WINNER WILL RECEIVE A DOOR SWING - sponsor by TOY MADAME PLEASURE WORLD ( ADULT NOVELTY TOYS) ****
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/TOY-MADAME-PLEASURE-WORLD-ADULT-NOVELTY-TOYS/381523090061?ref=ts

HOT TOPIC TUESDAY

What are you doing to keep your relationship spicy?

RWOC WISHING YOU A HAPPY FORTH

Wishing you and the family a happy fourth of July. Be safe