HOT TOPIC TUESDAY: Do's and Don'ts

Sometimes people aren't so supportive, or don't understand what marriage is all about.  Sometimes your Spouse may get things confused about what they should do, and sometimes you may get confused.  In terms of wrong vs right what are the things that you do and don't do in your marriage? 

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY: YOU are in control of your own mood...

I thought this article would me a great motivation to the wives.  Enjoy and put it to use...

Master Your Attitude: Bolster Your Confidence to Stay Sexy for Your Spouse

by Dr. Dana Fillmore in Relationship

You are in control of your own mood. I’ll say it again: YOU are in control of YOUR own mood. This is probably the most important piece of advice I give to people, regardless of where they are in their relationships.

What this means, is that no matter what is happening in your day to day life, no matter what your workday was like or how your back feels, no matter what errands you have to run or how much you have to spend to fix the car, no one is responsible for your happiness but you. If you CHOOSE to be angry or upset about your daily stresses, then you will wallow in your bad mood, and it’s nobody’s fault but your own.

We can’t rely on others to make us feel good – they have themselves to worry about.
It’s easy to let the stresses of the day (or week, month, etc.) to pile up. It’s easy to submit to feelings of anger and depression, to feel sorry for yourself, and let it affect the way you deal with the people around you.

How does your mood affect your spouse?
Take a moment to think outside of yourself. If you’re in a bad mood, how does that affect the way you communicate with your spouse? If you are short with them, or seem distant, disinterested, or on edge, how will that affect any attempt at communication? Plenty of arguments are the result of outside stressors, not the issue being argued. By allowing yourself to wallow in a bad mood, you set the stage for increased stress and MORE trouble. This only gets worse when both halves of a couple let themselves settle into a negative attitude.

Now, what about the opposite effect? Imagine your home life if you and your spouse were excited to see each other everyday, if you could laugh about a stressful situation at work, or combine forces to solve problems around the house. In the bedroom, a playful, positive attitude goes a LONG way. Confidence is sexy, and unhappiness is definitely NOT a way to gain confidence. Choosing to be in a good mood will improve your outlook on the world around you, and with it, your self-confidence.

But how, you ask? How can you take control of your moods?
The short answer is to simply make yourself be happy. Stack the odds in your favor. This is an entirely personal endeavor. Take the necessary steps to improve your own life, and it will improve your marriage, your job, your family, everything. Evaluate the stressors in your life, and deal with them accordingly. Make an effort to get off the couch. Learn something new or rekindle the passion for an old hobby. If there’s something you want to accomplish, today’s the day to start!

A positive outlook will be infinitely beneficial to your marriage, from your sex life to taking care of the kids. When you feel good about what you’re doing, you will feel good about yourself – and when you feel good about yourself, your partner will feel good about you too!

Just as negativity breeds more negativity, happiness results in, you guessed it, MORE HAPPINESS. Good days turn into good weeks, good weeks into good months, and so on. Only you are in control of your mood. If you desire self-improvement, go for it, as long as it makes you happy! When you and your spouse both take control of your own happiness, you will find each other much more pleasant to be around, and a whole lot more attractive.

The online Article

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY:

All though some of the Motivational monday quotes, articles, and poems are directed towards individuals they still apply to our marriages.  It takes 2 individuals efforts to make this marriage union work so lets all work on ourselves in order to make our marriages a success...  Here's a poem to motivate you.

The River of Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The River of Life flows without emotion.
The River surges. The River quiets.
The River overflows its banks. The River dries to a trickle.
The River swirls and storms. The River becomes calm.
The River runs clear. The River runs dark with silt.
The River is indifferent to what benefit or what harm is caused by its water.
The River is the River, and that is all there is to it.

The River of Life has no judgments.
The River flows with no concept of good and bad – right and wrong.
The fields and dreams of men may be nourished by the River of Life, or flooded and covered with silt, and the River just flows.
Men may catch fish and live on the River of Life, or they may founder in a storm and drown, and the River just flows.

The River of Life is timeless.
It is not unchanging, but it is timeless, and it changes in its own time.

The River of Life knows no obstacles.
The River can cut through solid rock – in its own time.

The River of Life is not powerful – and it is not weak.
The River of Life is not gentle – and it is not strong or rough.
The River of Life is not deep or shallow.
The River of Life is not nourishing or punishing.
The River of Life is simply the River of Life.
The River of Life just IS. There is no more to it.

The River of Life has no meaning, no good, no bad, no better, no worse, no love, no hate, no fear, no anger, no joy.
The River of Life has no judgment, no expectation.
The River of Life just IS.

There is nothing to do.
There is nothing to say.
There is nothing to think.
There is nothing to feel.
The River just flows.

The River is the source of all nourishment - the source of all obstacles.
The River is the source of all life – the source of all death.
The River is the source of all joy – and the source of all sorrow.
Yet the River has no joy – and the River has no sorrow.
The River is just the River.

One can flow harmoniously with the River – or one can struggle fearfully against the River - and the River just flows.
One can accept the River – or one can deny the River – and the River just flows.
One can worship the River of Life – or one can curse the River of Life – and the River just flows.

There is nothing to do – and the River flows.
There is nothing to say – and the River flows.
There is nothing to think – and the River flows.
There is nothing to feel – and the River flows.
The River flows – and all else is our drama.
The River flows – and all else is our invention.

I choose to flow with the River of Life.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

This Motivational Monday God surly interceded and brought something to my eyes. Checking my emails I came across this article that said, "Why Faith Can Help Marriage Work."  Now I am a work in progress, and I admit, that I believe in God, but sometimes I have a problem with letting God.  My faith is  under construction, so this title really hit something in me.  It listed tools that you should have to help your marriage:  Humility, Forgiveness, God's Sovereignty, and Financial Provision.  At the end it challenges you to  pick one of the tools and let it become your attitude your mindsets, and implement them in your marriage. Maybe you will come together in prayer about a stressful situation, maybe you will stop looking to each other to change and start looking to yourself, or maybe you will offer forgiveness for a hurt that occurred many years ago.

Whatever it is, turn to God first and each other second. Let Him be the foundation of your marriage so that when things get good, you can say, “God did this!” Because that’s the point of it all anyway, isn’t it?

Are you up for the Challenge?  RWOC knows you can do it!!!!!

Read article in its entirety here.